There’s a lonely kind of craziness in falling out with people who have no idea you’ve fallen out.

Just because they haven’t replied to your texts doesn’t mean they’re ignoring you

We live, according to the cliche, in an age of “instant communication”. Only we don’t. The truth is the sense that everyone could get back to you immediately, if they wanted to – and the anxiety that follows when they don’t. Emails, and increasingly texts and DMs, too, wait days or even weeks for a response.

“The result,” as Julie Beck put it recently in the Atlantic, “is the sense that everyone could get back to you immediately, if they wanted to – and the anxiety that follows when they don’t.” In the old days, instant replies were either obligatory (as in face-to-face conversation) or impossible (as in snail mail). Now, though, we’ve hopelessly confused the two. So when no reply is forthcoming, we’ve no idea what to think.

This explains the peculiarly modern phenomenon of being involved, at any given time, in a half-dozen emotionally awkward situations that may in fact not exist beyond the confines of one’s own head. Right now, for example, I’m convinced a dear friend is angry or distressed that I still haven’t responded to his newsy pre-Christmas message; meanwhile, a professional contact who suggested lunch has gone silent since my enthusiastic reply, perhaps having realized she had confused me with someone more noteworthy and being too embarrassed to admit it.

‘Yet of course I have zero evidence for either belief: I suspect my friend hasn’t given the matter any thought, while the contact is furiously busy and will eventually reply. There’s a special, lonely kind of craziness in experiencing ongoing tensions with people who almost certainly aren’t experiencing them back.

Yet this anxiety, Beck notes, is the price we’re willing to pay for the sense of control we get from not feeling obliged to reply immediately: “What the age of instant communication has enabled is the ability to deal with conversation on our own terms.” If more and more people consider phone calls a form of ambush – because (oh God!) you have to respond there and then – perhaps that’s because, in other domains, a sense of control is so hard to come by these days.

If there’s no reason to feel secure about your job, your tenancy agreement, your retirement or the future of the planet, at least you get to retreat inside your mind and decide exactly who gets to intrude, and when you’ll engage, if at all.

The problem is that the disadvantages of this kind of control can end up outweighing the benefits. A world in which we’re obliged to nobody is one in which nobody’s obliged to us. I may think I prefer being able to choose when I reply to that message from my friend.

But what happens in reality is that work gets in the way, my response is indefinitely delayed, and one more thread of our friendship is frayed. If he’d picked up the phone – and I’d answered, despite my annoyance at the intrusion – we’d have prevented that.

Plus I’d have been spared several weeks feeling guilty about offending him, even though I probably never did.

Read entire article by: Oliver Burkeman | The Guardian |Mar 2018

Still looking for that one perfect job!

Getting a hiring manager to return your phone message.

Still looking for that perfect jobYou have just received a phone call acknowledging receipt of your resume or a call to set up an interview. Placing a badly recorded phone message can stop the interview process in its tracks.

Far too many jobseekers, use the same phone call etiquette as they would with a friend or family member who knows who they are. Little thought is given to creating a message that will be returned by the employer.

Leaving a Professional Job Search Phone Message.

Quite often mangers do not return calls, or follow up with jobseekers, because the candidate:
  • Did not leave a telephone number
  • Left a number with no area code
  • Did not leave their name
  • Left a message that is garbled or barely audible
  • Placed the call from a location with background noises, e.g. traffic sounds, restaurant noises, dogs barking etc.
  • Leave a long rambling incoherent message

Any message that requires the hiring manager to do research before the calling you back;  and this includes looking up your contact information, trying to figure out who the call is from, or what you are trying to say; will greatly reduce your chance of a call back from the manager or for consideration for the job.

FPSelectJobs: 03/12/2018

200 Job Application Rejection Letters and Counting

After being turned down – or just plain ignored – for 200 job applications, Rosie Percy asks what’s a graduate got to do to get noticed?

burnout A year ago I was still a student, clawing my way through my final year in an attempt to rectify the previous months of oversleeping and under working.

The last few months of my studies were a blur of scrawled notes and endless research, and the biggest obstacle I faced was battling the occasional all-consuming hangover.

However I was urged on through the long slog by the chorus of ‘it’ll all be worth it in the end’ chirped at me by hopeful parents and lecturers desperate to keep up their stellar pass rate.

I was promised that the hard work and 4am bedtimes would be worth the degree earned at the end which would be my fast-track golden ticket to my dream career, so I kept my eyes patiently focused on the promises of freedom and success that glimmered on the horizon.

Fast forward to present day and I’m a graduate going nowhere; I’m employed in a monotonous, mind-numbing temping role despite submitting and promptly getting rejected from more than 200 jobs.

Despite my optimism level reaching a dangerous low, I still start each application with a deep breath, a renewed sense of positivity and the fresh hope that maybe this time will be different.

For every 30 job applications I receive one generic rejection and the rest are ignored. My inbox now almost gives me a sympathetic smile and braces for the worst each time I excitedly open an email from a prospective employer.

From my endless applications I have only received feedback twice which vaguely informs me that the company loved my personality, but they’ve selected someone with more experience.

Companies often generate an automated response informing me that I have not been successful on this occasion, and cannot provide any further feedback at this time without any advice on how to progress, how should I know what I’m doing wrong?

In the hope of improving my chances I signed up for instant job alerts, joined endless recruitment agencies and use Twitter to follow media recruiters to hopefully spot a golden opportunity, but to no avail. These sites provide more opportunities, but I’m still knocked back from them without so much as a ‘no thank you’.

I emerge from the settling dust generated by my constant crazed job search and find myself asking why I am so easy to reject and where is the job that I was always promised was waiting for me?

I come to the conclusion that it must be one of two things: either my deodorant has stopped working or my application’s aren’t up to scratch.

Bouncing back from countless rejections is difficult, but after realizing that an hour spent face down in a gallon of Haagen Daz ice cream isn’t helping my career or my waistline, I decide to take action and start with the root cause of potential problems my CV.

More than just a Word document, a great resume is the Holy Grail that every graduate aspires to and hopes will lead to a brighter, better career. To develop a resume that would hopefully grab potential employers by the gonads and shout ‘HIRE ME’ like it should do, I began to adapt my CV to suit each application individually.

However despite my best efforts to overcome rejection and adapt my applications, I find myself still crawling through the unending swamp of unanswered emails and generic job sites in the hope that my efforts won’t go unrewarded.

After receiving 200 rejection letters, it’s no wonder Rosie Percy dreads opening her email and letterbox.

Read entire Article: Graduate view: 200 rejection letters and counting | Guardian careers |
This is re-post of an article by Rosie Percy at